Passing through life
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
days rushed past me that i haven't made time to post or maybe i just don't want to post something. it really amuse me how i'm so different when i write something and what i let people see me in the outside. maybe that's why i kept this blog to let my other side show.
i got my grades and thank god i passed my hardest subject. i literally jumped for joy when i saw my name with the people who passed. B treated us to dinner. and no surprises he passed all of his subjects. now were gonna part ways. just thinking about it makes me miss him even more. i just can't believe how much i love him and i can't even let him know or show how i feel since i don't know how! stupid really. since i'm such a frank person but when it comes to what i feel for someone i just clam up.
how can i show you when in the first place i don't even know what you really feel for me. sometimes i feel that our feelings are mutual and sometimes i feel that your just using me because you know i love you. even if i don't want to proceed to medicine i'm actually contemplating to proceed because you want to be a doctor and i just want to be with you.
are you worth it? giving up my dreams just to be with you? i need security. i need stableness.
i need you.
au revoir.
Posted by LyZa ::
10:34 PM ::
11 Comments:
Post your shit
---------------oOo---------------
Saturday, March 11, 2006
i know i'm making it more complicated for us. i can't say this to you personally since i'm afraid what your reaction would be. but believe me, i do love you.
im making a decision for both of us. i'm happy when i'm with you. and for all it's worth i don't know if i can fight for it.
why do i love you? i don't have any reason. it's unknown.
au revoir for now.
Posted by LyZa ::
3:41 PM ::
1 Comments:
Post your shit
---------------oOo---------------
Thursday, March 09, 2006
when time stands still
reminiscing things sometimes makes you wonder how the hell did you get out in tough situations, fall in and out of love or gain and lose some friends. sometimes we wish things never change or things should get better than this or i shouldn't have done that thoughts but if we just sit and think for a while we would thank ourselves for experiencing those.
i'm just getting cheesy here after reading some memories i wrote in other people's blogs, testimonials and even after reading my thoughts in some old scratch letters i kept before sending it to people.
now i'm just amazed how my feelings are never constant. how i would feel this strongly for a person at a certain time and then it would evaporate after days, weeks, months or years. i'm talking about all kinds of relationship. friendship, flings, sexual encounters, sweethearts and complications. i don't want to say i'm commitment-phobia or an attachment freak. it's just that i'm flighty, never want to be tied to a certain commitment or choke a certain someone. no, i'm not afraid of getting hurt... maybe.
i'm also amazed how i can easily acquire confidants, good conversations and the feeling of togetherness. i seem to jump from one situation to another. i laugh a lot weather the situation may be good or bad. i seldom let people see me angry. as much as possible i want to control it.
*giggles... what the hell am i babbling about...
nah.. i'm just contemplating why the hell are my own friends thinking that i'm not serious with B. it's still bugging me, yah know. that's what they saw. and letting them see the baloney in it. then people are dumb if they believe the facade they are seeing. kevz.
au revoir for now. i luv B.
Posted by LyZa ::
4:29 PM ::
0 Comments:
Post your shit
---------------oOo---------------
Thursday, March 02, 2006
weird things just happen once in a while
it all started with a simple glance on the beach. warm water lapping our body up. seeing each other again on the showers. both can't control their emotions. with a simple lip locking which turned into a more serious intimate adversaries. can't get enough with each other. hands prowling where heat is the most intimate source. licking everything away with those sweet lips of yours. then as time and space combined with ecstasy, passion is spent with eternity.
weird how that dream came back to me. first experienced that dream when i was still 15 years old. recurring dreams. just kept coming back when i was that age. don't know the guy that time. and it stopped when i was 18.
and now, it's here again. just last night. saw you again. and what's totally amazing is now i know who it is.
it's you.
au revoir for now. I luv B.
Posted by LyZa ::
4:24 PM ::
2 Comments:
Post your shit
---------------oOo---------------