Passing through life
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
no regrets, no what if'swhenever i think what we did, i would never regret the times i decided i would do it with you. not because i want to but because in the first time in my life i was able to experience such a thing and with the person who makes me happy right now! you don't have to be ashamed of. i don't have to be ashamed of. i told you how i felt. you know you're the one who makes me happy and not him, right? i may be tipsy that time but believe me... i knew what i was doing and was talking about. right now hon, i'm just so confused. not about what i feel for you but about my situation. with the other person... with people around us... with what you feel. we don't talk about what happened. we don't acknowledge that it really happened between us. what do you want me to do? pretend that it never happened??? again?
do you think that's fair? we're both consenting adults. just even the real score with me. you know i would understand, right? even if you would say that you like somebody else or that you only like me as a `lil sis or shumthing... you know i would understand it. it may be hard to accept but understanding is my forte.. and i would not love you less for that.. shit! did i just say love?!
do i? really know how to love? every time i see you, i just want to hug you and bury my face in your resounding embrace.
i'm tired of pretending that there's nothing wrong. tired of pretending about everything!
i need someone right now. you we're right hon.... i do need someone i can lean on... i'm about to scream my head off and just give up. when would be the right time i can say these line, "hey guys! it's my turn to be weak... i'm finally exhausted emotionally." and who would be the right person to say it?
are you willing to be that someone hon? i guess not.... i'm just a too much of a coward to ask you. chicken shit.
on the other side..... i finally have a shot of the people i call brothers... brothers, not by blood but by companionship and friendship.
so there's jay-jay, Bon-Bon and Bopeep..... wacky as ever! happiness and sorrow combined *wink
