Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Officially I'm older now :(As what they say the older you get the wiser you should be...
I don't think so. I'm still stupid enough to wait if he would greet me or not...
It is over. I just don't matter to him as much as he matters to me ^_^
Sick.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Karma is a BitchThe first time I have ever invest into something big and it got stolen! Whew!
I just could not believe that this things actually happen. Okay. It's my first time! My lovely phone with a good camera resolution got stolen.
Bought a new one though. Shit! It just pains me to think about my carelessness.
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I've never been more crushed in my life.
" You are the reason why the team's sense of camaraderie vanished. You brought the jinx into the team."
These few honest words pierced through me with startling clarity. I have been hanged by the judge and jury without any trial just because the girl was my friend.
I was never given a chance to defend myself just because she was my friend.
" Tell me who you are friends are and I will tell you who you are."
" Birds with the same feathers flock together"
" Actions speaks louder than words."
That is the foundation of all things. The gist of what he said.
If my friend is thinking things like that about me what about other people...
Just got me thinking... Duh. Like i care about other people. The past is still haunting me.
I need Ghost busters!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Almost a year older...A few more days and I'm going to be a year older now... A year... and I didn't even notice it.
I didn't graduate. Still stagnant on what to do and what to take. Or am I going to finish my previous course.
I applied for a job. Found new friends and acquired new enemies. Life would be boring without them.
Experienced being with the top people and being the number one in a surprising way. Applying for this job was just a "band-aid" for the failure and disappointment i felt on my educational attainment area. I was not planning on being here for almost a year now. But surprisingly, I feel at ease and tackle challenges here graciously. I feel more fullifilled.
In this year, I did not pursue any relationships at all. Yes, there are gossips, I admit. But in the long run it wasn't just right. Not right in a sense that I feel nothing at all.
This year I got tired of playing. I've been to hell and back but experience taught me to weight more decisions carefully and that in everything I do there would be consequences.
This year I learned to love. Love and Hurt. I'm thankful for that.
Enough about the drama in life. Well if my sex life is achieving it's turning point then I better embrace it.
I'm happy. K actually asked me to be a part of the account's literature buffs. One thing I wanted to do with my life was to write about things that interests me.
I'm excited about that. I've always wanted to write, design and draw. It's the artist/critic/brooding side of me.
not everybody gets to see that, you know!
UPDATES:
* Joined VOICES and got to talked with The Captain.
* Pizza Party for P4P relaunch (Yum! Yum!)
Ciggy: NONE
Booze: NONE
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
What's wrong with my libido????Confusing.
I used to be passionate when it comes to bed. I don't like it when my partners are not satisfied. My orgasm is all in the mind. I get high when my partners reach their ultimate satisfaction.
But right now my sexual libido is in chaos. I can't function. I don't get aroused. Yep, even with my sexual intent. Every time i see him at work every night I can feel shivers running down my spine, literally. It's like electricity. The cat and mouse game we would play makes it more interesting and anticipating. But now something's really wrong. I don't get amused anymore. Nada. Nothing at all.
Every Saturday night, I would meet up with someone just to see if I can function well and to test my prowess again. Even with kissing... I can't seem to kiss them. It does not matter if they are gorgeous, beautiful or any sexuality. I can't do it. I feel... unclean. I feel I would disrespect him. You know... HIM. In the end we would just meet up with other people and jam with other people.
Maybe, it's all in the mind. But right now I think I don't have to push myself into something that i can't stomach. I guess I just need to relax and just be happy with what's happening.
CIGARETTE: 0 since the last update (yey me!)
LIQUOR: 0 intake (another yey!)
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
A new life of no ciggyFirst day of their trip.
Just engorge myself with three bags of very fattening Ruffles, Lays and Doritos.
Just got into biking and enrolled myself into gym class. Things you do for love and to improve yourself. Lols.
STICKS OF CIGARETTE: 0 STICKS! Dang!
LIQUOR CONSUMED: NONE! Double Dang!
Starting tomorrow: DIET!!!!!!!!! I FEEL FAT!!!!! EVEN MY MOM SAID I'M FAT! :(
