Passing through life
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
it's been what? a long time for me since i have written here. i'm sorry for neglecting you. i have been very busy with classes and my hectic schedule. adding subjects and changing schedules are just a part of the first week of this circus. but finally, i have found the schedule i liked and will be good on my part. enough about school. it's still the same as ever.
i broke up with someone last night. so we were not really the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship but let's just say we have an understanding that we were a couple. i didn't feel i was special anymore. i used to be the queen of his life. i know all good things last. and that's that. i said maybe a tear or two but that's the end of it. i know i sound unemotional but believe me that was really how emotional i can get. i hope he still consider me as his friend. no goodbyes, dearie. goodbyes are for losers.
on the other side, i'm confused right now. my mom is going to have an operation this coming monday. they may see me as someone who doesn't show her feelings but deep inside i'm crying for my mom. she may have convinced herself that i don't love her but she doesn't know that i really do. i can say it here because none of my family ever reads my blog and thats a good thing. emotions are such a powerful weapon to hurt you. i make it to a point that nobody sees me anything besides being happy. sometimes i blow up with anger but that's it. and it's very seldom. back to my mom... yeah. i'm really praying (though i don't know how) that she is not malignant. i still haven't told my mom how much she means to me. i still haven't told her how scared am i on losing her. i still haven't told her though i pretend to be strong, i am so weak inside.
