Passing through life
Sunday, May 14, 2006
i love you, goodbyesome things are better left unsaid. some things are better left underneath the rock. somethings are better left unturned.
anguish is killing me. hurt is surpassing. the gnawing feeling. the emptiness i feel. you may see that i'm happy. you may see i'm glad. but underneath all of this i just want to crawl and hide. but underneath all of this i just want to curl into a ball and hide my face, my anguish and hurt.
i'm not sorry that i love (yes, i love you still) you. i'm not sorry that you taught me how to be good. true. you know. because of you, i learned how to minimize myself. my outlandish ways, my irritating sexcapades and everything else not fit to be someone perfect. i minimized my bitchiness, my outspoken personality and nightlifes i was so fond of. i even told myself to lie low from being the damned queen. my oh so diva gay personality.
i was happy being me. but i was more happier being with you. i was more happier just to sit in silence with you and just stare at you and just let my eyes show how i love you so much! OMG, yes, i still love you so much. i may never say this to you again but I LOVE YOU. you may think that it doesn't matter since i say i love you to all people but give me some benefit of doubt. don't judge me. for what i'm feeling for you is real. and that hurts more.
you may love someone else and i hope you will understand that i may be smiling in the outside but deep inside i'm crying my wits out. someday i will look at you as a friend again. not as someone i love but just a friend but as of this moment let me continue on loving you.
IN SILENCE.
